Office Morale Skyrockets as “That Bitch from Marketing” Turns in Her Two Month Notice

Karen from marketing

Corporate America, USA – In a turn of events that has sent shockwaves of joy throughout the office, “That Bitch from Marketing,” also known as Karen Not-So-Well-Liked, has officially turned in her two weeks’ notice. The news was met with sporadic celebrations, impromptu conga lines around the copy machine, and a noticeable uptick in the CEO’s daily fist pump output by a whopping 12%.

Office party celebration

When this reporter asked why everyone was so jubilant, the entire office fell into a synchronized, dramatic stare. The tension was palpable, only breaking when the phrase, “I get it, bitch gotta go,” was uttered with a certain degree of sincerity.

While the prospect of enduring her presence for another two months is daunting, there is, at last, a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. The office is buzzing with anticipation, as employees count down the days on a giant, communal calendar, crossing off each day with a vibrant red marker.

Karen’s exit is said to be part of her own personal journey towards finding a workplace where her unique talents, such as micromanaging people not even in her department, passive-aggressive check-ins, and asking for status updates remotely at midnight, will be more appreciated.

One brave soul was overheard questioning the logic behind her departure, “There’s a hiring freeze going on, where are you goin…” but before he could finish, he was swiftly escorted away by the HR department, his muffled screams echoing through the corridors, serving as a stark reminder, “not to shake the boat”.

The Jr. Content Writer, who is usually reserved and maintains a stoic demeanor, was seen cracking a smile for the first time since the great power outage of 2018. When asked for a comment, he ominously nodded and continued on his way, a spring in his step that employees swear they’ve never seen before.

As the days wind down and Karen’s departure looms closer, the office is preparing for a post-Karen era. Plans for a “Good Riddance” party are already underway, with discussions bout a piñata in the likeness of Karen being a hot topic.

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire and fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Always remember to treat your colleagues with respect, even if they microwave fish in the communal kitchen.