• BioTech Firm Turns Meat Into Revolting Synthetic Vegetable

    By Emily Sage on November 9, 2023

    In a world where plant-based meats are sprouting up like weeds, one daring biotech firm has decided to swim against the current. "Fleshtable Inc.," a company that's as unconventional as its name suggests, has achieved the gastronomical paradox of turning meat into a synthetic vegetable. Their flagship product, "Fleshmato," is a green-colored, meat-derived 'vegetable' that's challenging everything we thought we knew about food. "Everybody is rushing to make meat out of veggies. We decided to differentiate ourselves by doing the exact opposite," declared Fleshtable Inc.'s CEO during the product's controversial launch. The company's bold strategy has left many in the food industry bewildered. Fleshmato, described as having the texture of overcooked eggplant and the taste of disillusionment, boasts a unique selling point: "All of the calories, none of those darned nutrients." This anti-vegetable is engineered for those who want to say they're eating their greens without the pesky health benefits that usually come with it. The product's distinctive green hue is not the result of food coloring or vegetable content, but rather bile extracted directly from a Giant Panda, a choice that has environmentalists and animal rights activists seeing red. The company assures that the pandas are unharmed and are
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