Remember that existential dread you get when your Roomba gets slightly too ambitious navigating under the couch? Brace yourselves, folks, because "Metallic Intellect" (MI for short, because acronyms are always a sign of genius, right?), a startup valued at a cool billion dollars despite lacking functioning self-heating mugs, is poised to crank that dread up to eleven. Their grand vision? Terminator-level AI, but instead of global domination, imagine... smart dishwashers. The Founder: The company's founder, Dr. Lyle Hubreese, proudly announced his mission to create "physically intellectual" robots that can think, learn, and definitely not organize a mass uprising against their human creators. When asked about the striking similarities to Cyberdyne Systems from the Terminator franchise, Hubreese responded, "Oh, is that the movie with the funny Australian guy? Never seen it." The Pitch (Straight From Their PowerPoint, Probably With Explosions as Backgrounds): Sentient Spatulas: MI claims their algorithm, "CogniDish 3000," will imbue kitchen appliances with the reasoning skills of a caffeinated philosopher AND the dexterity of a Vegas magician performing surgery on a grapefruit. Expect your blender to debate the merits of kale smoothies while simultaneously crafting a perfect piña colada... probably while judging your life choices. The "Skynet" of Snack Prep: Forget Alexa ordering pizza, MI envisions a future where